Expect this one to be slightly different to the previous expositions of love and things of happiness.
(This blog is new and still finding it's feet and I will be adding much more of my amassed collection of odd writings, old and new, in the near future... they will not all be joyous and cheerful but I hope they will all be interesting in some way. If you don't like my writing, don't read it!)
You have been warned, but still, I urge you to read on.
Confession/Admission - Certain things give me extreme rage. I can't help it and I don't apologise for it. I may often be seen as something of a wallflower, but trust me, this flower can be searing when provoked! This beautiful, fucked up world of ours can often be so overwhelmingly disappointing that my usual stance of quiet, benevolent observation gets interrupted by bouts of the most infernal fury I literally think I might burst.
Those who know me will know that I have no prejudices. I do everything I can to surround myself with people who share similar views and when I meet someone who does hold some sort of screwed up opinion I'll have no problem telling them how wrong they are. I don't see this as me being arrogant or pushy... as far as I see it, you lose the right to have said opinion once you decide to deny another human being their right to live as they choose (as long as they're not harming anyone of course). I am SO sick of the hypocrisy of the thing we call political correctness. The notion that it's not acceptable or not 'cool' to make any mention of any kind of 'ism' or hatred is a nice fluffy thought that makes everything look shiny and reformed but really all it's done is sweep things like racism and homophobia under a huge rug. Make no mistake about it... bigotry is alive and well and thriving right under our noses.
For those of you who don't know, we are in the midst of a presidential election in Ireland at the moment. Don't worry, I'm not getting political... you really don't want to know my opinions on the candidates (trust me, there's enough rage in the room right now). But it is relevant to the story. One of the candidates, Senator David Norris, is gay. I've already said I'm not going to get into a political stance on this... information on all the candidates is abundantly available on the internet so if you want to know about Norris then look him up.
Cue a casual discussion over drinks with a friend of mine today.....
"Friend" - "So any idea who you're going to vote for in the election yet?"
Me - "Not sure, it's 'slim pickin's' really and I'm still doing my research but probably going for Norris"
"Friend" - "Yeah, I like what he stands for, he'd make a good president, but we couldn't have a gay head of state"
Me - (Spits out drink)......
..... EX...CUSE...ME???
Now, I'm sure you can probably imagine where this is going, but please, let me furnish you with just one or two delightful gems of the pure, virginal malice that began to pour from this girl's mouth. She believes that...
- Being gay is "wrong". (When asked by whose standards, she blurted out some ridiculous crap about morality and the bible. Now she's well aware of my thoughts on religion (which I'm not going to go into now) - she disapproves and I don't care - but she wasn't going to get away with telling me that being gay is wrong and leaving it at that, or by trying to provoke me with another god discussion. Fuck that for a get out of jail free card.
- Norris could be gay if he wanted to (bet he really appreciates that) but he shouldn't flaunt it, and absolutely could not have a partner living in Áras an Uachtaráin (Official Residence of Ireland's President).
- It would be completely inappropriate for our president to be seen at official functions doing things like "holding hands" (GASP!) with another man.
Now the main headfuck with this particular girl's prejudice was not the homophobia as such, although of course that had to be, and would be, addressed too. Sadly, I was not overly surprised by it although it was definitely the final nail in what was already a delicate friendship. My rage was really awakened at the suggestion that someone could hold a position of such significance but only if they were of one particular sexual orientation (and if not, it must be hidden). Now does that make any sense to you? Am I insane? Is there something inherently wrong with my brain that makes it so completely and utterly impossible for me to even begin to understand that notion? Do I have a bone defect of some sort? Was she really trying to tell me that she had no problem whatsoever with any of the previous 8 presidents of Ireland having any sort of romantic partnership as part of their residency but if Norris is to be elected he is to be denied that right? And who the hell was she to be making that call? How DARE she?! Did she actually think that if he's given the opportunity he'll be holding cake and buggery parties on the lawn and inviting all the neighbourhood's children along?
Her corrosive and disturbing stance genuinely shocked me. A person's sexual orientation is something of absolutely no significance to me. I can't put it any more simply than that and I find it absolutely incredible that this is still an issue. In a world with a population of approximately 7 BILLION human beings, all swarming around trying to live our tiny, short, trivial lives in the midst of this/these wondrously vast universe/universes can somebody please tell me why the fuck it matters if a male of the species would rather commit romantically and sexually to another male rather than a female (or vice versa)? My friend put forward the argument that men and women were designed (designed???) to be together to "make sure the human race doesn't die out". Now I'm not even going to go there, although admittedly, I did at the time. I thought she needed a little maths lesson at that point. But displaying considerably less intelligence than the half eaten bag of tayto in front of her, this girl was unable to give me any other reason for her complete abhorrence at the idea of couples with matching genitalia.
The argument continued until I genuinely feared for my sanity and her safety. You know when you just aren't getting anywhere... at this point I may as well have been trying to convince the glass of wine in front of me that it was in fact a tomato. I was upset and she was an idiot so I left. There was no glorious moment where she saw the light and changed her ways, denouncing her shameful homophobic hatred. In fact she looked quite pleased with herself. In an idiotic and sinister kind of way. These are the kinds of views and disgusting prejudices this girl is going to give her children (who will, no doubt, be 100% heterosexual... or else). She thinks she is right. She still thinks she is right. It truly breaks my heart that nothing I said made any difference to her staggeringly flawed points of view. And this is exactly what I mean when I say that bigotry is alive and well. Do you think that this girl goes into work and announces that she's homophobic? She goes about her daily business like so many others, under this bullshit guise of political correctness that really means absolutely nothing at all. She doesn't have an "I'm a happy homophobe!" badge or a sticker on her car, but it's there... maliciously swelling like the red weed. There are many things in this world to be angry about. And of course many wonderfully fantastical things to be happy about. But what do we actually have if we can't rely on each other to defend our most basic of human rights? Life is crazy and complicated, wonderful and really really difficult and we all need to love and to feel loved. The knowledge that one seemingly intelligent person could willingly deny another person that right unsettles and unnerves me more than my vocabulary allows me to describe.
I don't expect that many people will read this and that's fine. The catharsis in the writing will hopefully be enough. But as the wine uncomfortably burns the back of my very dry throat and I've just wiped the last bit of smudged mascara from my cheeks, I am reminded of one very important thing.... it is NEVER alright to allow someone to be so wrong. PLEASE... please, if anyone is reading this; know your enemy. Educate yourself in the ignorances and prejudices of others and be ready for conversations like these. I don't condone aggression in general and I'm not an angry person, but there are times when all of us need to stand our ground and at least try to right a wrong that's staring us in the face. If you walk away because it's the easy option then shame on you... you're no better than the bigot.
*Side-note... if Mr Norris is the man I think he is, and if he knew of the stipulations attached to my (now ex) friend's vote, I reckon he'd probably tell her where to stick it.
(Normal, happy(ish) blog service will hopefully be resumed once the rage has subsided, although there are a couple of other burning issues I might have to lambaste through prose... we'll see! If you've made it this far...thank you (really) for reading. x)
